Psycho-sensual massage for women

An award-winning TV documentary maker has approached me to take part in a documentary on female sexuality.

The documentary will explore how psychosexual and psychosensual therapy can be very beneficial in helping women achieve a more satisfying sex life. The documentary will be highlighting needs and issues that may include: stories of: sexual restriction and frustration, often due to cultural rules, lack of personal sexual knowledge, inability to orgasm, partners inexperience, single and busy and no time for sexual relationships and increasingly unfulfilled post menopause sexual needs and more. The programme will explore issues that many women experience but that current attitudes and treatments are coy about dealing with openly, honestly and practically. For the actual documentary, two or three female clients will be required, they will receive  a minimum of three x 3 hour Psychosensual Appointments (value £735). FREE and their journey’s will be filmed (sensitively) and documented throughout the programme. 

This is an amazing opportunity to be part of a ground breaking documentary.The production company are committed to making a sympathetic mature non-sensational documentary tracking your progress before, during and after the treatments. We want to explore issues that effect a variety of  women so if you are aged between early 20’s to 60+, any culture or spiritual belief systems, single or partnered and of any body type. I look forward to hearing from you. The treatments would be given in Central London at a high-end gym/spa and all production will be sympathetic and mature in its approach but honest and clear in its content. As well as the FREE treatments travel and expenses would also be covered.

If you are interested in taking part in this very important groundbreaking documentary please click on APPLY HERE to complete the application form. Confidentiality assured.

If you want to ask more information before applying please call me on 07966 522 696

Ponda Films is a new production company dedicated to telling fresh and contemporary stories about the world in which we live. With our roster of top production talent drawn from the worlds of documentary, current affairs and factual entertainment, we have the skills and experience to bring stories alive in the most creative possible way, whatever the genre. Between us, we have made numerous critically acclaimed films and series for the likes of the BBC, ITV, Channel 4, Al Jazeera, Discovery Channel, A&E, and TLC. Above all, we believe in the power of filmmaking to change the world, and we have the track record to prove it.

A personal ponder from Colin about why this programme has to be made

This is a very important project for me and I am so pleased Ponda are keen to make the documentary. In the past 4 years I have seen nearly 200 female clients and in that time I have come to understand that many women are in some way experiencing sexual challenges or frustrations but that they often feel they have to remain silent, thinking that there is nowhere to go to explore or alleviate their needs. Since the feature in Cosmopolitan Magazine in November I  have heard many times from female clients that what I offer is exactly what they have been seeking. but never thought would be available. Listed below are the most common  reasons and  motivations that  female clients quote when booking a sensual or psycho-sensual appointment.

Sexual frustration

Inability to orgasm
Rocketing libido with no place to go
Lack of sexual confidence
Sexual inexperience
Fear of intimacy
Anorgasmia (fear of penetrative sex)
Inequality in a sexual relationship
Partner does not touch me anymore
I don’t want to touch my partner anymore
Postmenopausal sexual issues
Self-exploration both physically and emotionally
Busy life / sex & intimacy is limited
Guilt and shame around sex
Over control / lack of trust in sex
Overcoming negative experiences around intimacy and sex

I find it incomprehensible that something as natural and fundamental to literally the survival of the species as female sexuality should over the last few hundred years have become so controlled, judged, patronized and ridiculed by society.  As a consequence many women even in today’s enlightened world still can feel guilty or shameful being open about their sexuality and sexual needs. I use the word “needs” because for women particularly, to maintain good health and a sense of well-being in general, it is vital that she experiences her sexual energies regularly.

Of course, we all know that intimate arousing touch, sexual foreplay, and penetrative sex are meant to be pleasurable but do we ever consider why it is so? Why has nature made it such a focus in all our lives? To keep the species going, of course, is a primary reason but increasingly research is proving that arousing touch and sex is just very healthy. Physiologically for both men and women when we are sensually and sexually stimulated we produce a cocktail of hormones and endorphins that boost the immune system and energize our very cells at a core level. Psychologically, the necessary human trait to constantly fear rejection or abandonment (we are a herding species and need to be with other humans to survive) is calmed. In women, it satisfies the primal need to be desired and in men the primal need to be approved of. It brings us together, it engages us, it enables connection with others. Therefore, it follows that without experiencing these sexual energies in one’s life a feeling of rejection, not belonging, lack of self-worth, feeling undesired and not good enough become the primary fears. This can result in the immune system slacking causing ill health, depression and possibly even life threatening diseases.

Men can self-administer and to a degree replicate the same sensations of penetrative sex and as most men know masturbation becomes an essential part of life. A well-oiled hand can recreate a similar feeling as penetrating a vagina and so the usual physical process and psychological satisfaction can be experienced and after orgasm, he mostly feels satisfied. Like the difference between hungrily snacking on a Big Mac or taking the time to enjoy the flavour and textures of a fabulous Aberdeen Angus steak, both satisfy hunger but only the latter gives with it a combined gastronomic and emotional experience.

Women can of course also masturbate but clitoral stimulation, even masturbation with a dildo can not generate the physical depth and carnal connection nor emotional euphoria that penetration of the vagina brings about. No matter how well practiced or imaginative she is when masturbating the primal desire and human energy that occurs when a female experiences full penetration can not be recreated. Every woman knows there is a difference between the self-initiated satisfaction of a clitoral orgasm and the a vaginal orgasm. For the female analogy, its like the difference between eating a shop bought bar of chocolate or being given some superb chocolates exquisitely made by a chocolatier, both can be satisfying but only the latter is an expansive indulgent emotional experience.

Taking the analogy further, the sensual massage experience that includes both clitoral and vaginal stimulation is neither the bought bar nor the chocolatiers indulgence but sits somewhere in between. Maybe a really good homemade chocolate brownie or chocolate fondants desert. Still bought but never the less given with pleasure in mind for her to feel spoilt and fulfilled.

Nothing is new

Even the Victorians who have a reputation for puritanical attitudes towards sex recognized that women were sexual animals. Sadly though this was in such conflict with their strong moral and religious beliefs that any women showing an element of desire to have sex for anything more than procreative reasons was diagnosed as mentally sick. 150 years ago the Victorians diagnosed it as Hysteria and the treatment was either clinical masturbation by a doctor or incarceration in asylums or shockingly for over 80,000 women removal of the ovaries, hence we now know much more about the human endocrine system in the body! Hysteria was seen as a mental disorder as it made women behave inappropriately according to societies rules of that period. Of course, today we are shocked by that attitude and we acknowledge  that a woman who enjoys sex for pleasure is not mad. Have we really moved on or just camouflaged the narrow-mindedness by accepting the scientific knowledge that orgasm in women is real and can be enjoyed for pleasure. It is accepted for women to enjoy sex within a partnership, marriage even open casual dating but what is available for women who are not in a relationship and don’t want to casual date ? or for those who for some reason have a fear or frustration around sex and are embarrassed even scared to enjoy nature’s natural process.

Is Sexercise the new Exercise?

Imagine yourself going for one of your thrice-weekly workouts. Maybe a pilates class to re align your body structure or a session in the gym to tone your torso and flatten your stomach. Or maybe you feel like taking one of the new ‘Sexercise’ classes to energise your pelvic floor or loosen up the tension your genitals. Or possibly you want to restart your sexual libido which has been flagging after childbirth and sex with your partner still feels a trifle embarrassing. Or maybe you have a sexual performance challenge that you want to deal with, with an expert or maybe you just want some ‘sexual me time’.

Even the word gymnasium derives from the ancient greek of a place to be naked to take exercise. So is it too far fetched for me to consider combining sensual and psychosensual body treatments with the gym and personal training environment. One day and I hope soon, taking ‘Sexercise’ will be as normal as taking exercise and a life choice that is as acceptable as the yoga class is today. Now that we live in a far more automated and potentially sedentary world many people accept that taking care of our skeletal, muscular and spiritual well-being is important. By living and eating healthily and taking regular exercise we believe that our personal welfare and sense of self-worth will be balanced. But this is not always the case since no matter how much effort we put into out health and fitness regime if our bodies are not experiencing at least, intimate touch and sexual arousal then the underlying feeling will be of something missing. All our body systems are designed for two integral functions. Survival and Procreation. To survive we need to eat and to procreate we need to have sex. Everything else about the human condition comes after this or is in support of maximizing the eating and procreating. Yet in today’s so-called open accepting society we still deal with these basic natural instincts in very different ways.

Sex & Food, what’s the difference?

What if we switched our relationship with food with how we relate to sex. It would mean that eating by ourselves would have been frowned upon even seen by some as disgusting. That we could only eat in a certain way and only certain foods. That every culture and belief system would have different rules about what and with whom and how often we can eat. That we should not casually eat or eat too often but follow a prescripted system and restrain from eating when we felt like it. That we should not watch others eat, and eating in groups, well that’s just weird! Experimenting with different food would be only for the adventurous or frustrated eaters and paying someone to feed us simply exploitative and morally wrong. Most of us would only be expected to enjoy eating in the company of one other person, for a lifetime and that we would be embarrassed to talk about how we eat and what we eat with our children and hope that they learnt to eat properly by watching fantasy food programmes the internet or hearing of their friends eating exploits and then having a go without poisoning themselves.

Conversely, imagine if the importance of intimacy and sex could be taught from childhood, that it is ok to ask how to have sex properly and that there are proper instructions given so we can understand the many aspects of sexual intimacy. That we are aware that everyone’s relationship to sex is different and that some like sex with lights on or off and some only off. That we could view TV programmes about sex (Come Sex With Me! The Great British Sex Off! The Naked Sex Worker! Delia Smiths Sex Course!). That every time we had sex we could know how many calories we used up. That we could select to have the type of sex according to our mood that day. We could freely take part in sex classes learning new techniques, the history of sex and how sex is different in different cultures. We could openly invite friends to sex and intimacy parties without shocking the neighbours (hopefully, they would be there too). That we could happily enjoy instant take away sex or the beautiful 5-course version with our loved one

If you feel you want to support the making of this documentary or just have an opinion or an experience you would like to put forward then drop me a line at colin@intimacymatters.co.uk

To make an appointment with me CLICK HERE

To read more about the treatments I offer women CLICK HERE