Colin Richards is a relationship and sex mentor who is committed to teaching people how to achieve sensual intimacy, better communication and erotic fulfilment.
Erotic sexual denial, also known as orgasm denial, is a sexual practice or sex play in which a person is kept in a heightened state of sexual arousal for an extended length of time without orgasm, and is commonly practiced in association with BDSM and sexual bondage. Erotic sexual denial can be another name for or variant of orgasm control.
Edging is the common term used for orgasm control in men where masturbation is used as the method to edge the man to near orgasm biut withhold from ejaculation. The team popularly used for the women is Female Orgasm Denial
Female Orgasm Denial (FOD) is a method of subjugation of the female by both psychological and physiological control over the recipient’s desire/need to experience orgasm. It can be administered (I use this word purposely since it is given in a more clinical manner rather than a sensual way) by either a male or female administrator but usually by a male.
The act of taking a female to near orgasm over and over again serves as an alternative to more traditional BDSM techniques to subjugate rather than dominate the female.
The female sexual response cycle is made up of four stages. Excitement, Plateau, Orgasm, Resolution. In the excitement stage, the female body undergoes physiological changes. Muscle tension increases, heart rate quickens, and breathing is accelerated. The skin may become flushed; Nipples become hardened or erect. Blood flow to the genitals increases and vaginal lubrication begins. When practising FOD, the subjugation usually starts in the excitement stage with some form of light restraint causing the female recipient to feel beholden to the administrator’s techniques while feeling her arousal develop.
But it is when she reaches the Plateau stage that the orgasm denial begins. Her vagina is now fully lubricated and her clitoris hypersensitive, her heartbeat increases and involuntary muscle spasms occur, and she will naturally feel less and less need to control herself as the oxytocin floods her body. With FOD techniques brought in at this stage, her emotions will become a confused mix of anticipation, excitement, fear and pleasure. The Plateau stage no longer becomes her prerogative but is now within the subjugator’s control and also intensified by the use of a vibrator and other toys and skills, taking her to the edge or orgasm but never quite allowing her the release. This denial of orgasm acts as both a physical and emotional subjugation and is experienced as a combination of pain and pleasure.
The relationship between pain and pleasure in female sexuality is as profound as it is complex. In fact, love, sex, pain and violence all stimulate the release of similar chemicals and hormones in the human body. Endorphins that are released in painful experiences are often perceived as pleasurable. Stress and pain can also stimulate the serotonin and melatonin production in the brain, which transforms painful experiences into pleasure. Combined with the oxytocin caused by the sexual stimulation the release of epinephrine and norepinephrine in pain can also cause a pleasurable ‘rush’. The result for some can be a double high.
Why it works?
Essentially FOD creates a similar dynamic as being a submissive for a dominant, but it is without the uniform or environment of traditional BDSM, i.e., whips, canes. So it may be that women who enjoy FOD are less likely to take part in Kink or S&M but prefer more ‘vanilla sex’ but with the added ingredient of having their ultimate pleasure controlled.
To understand, the pleasure of FOD remember playing pass the parcel when you were a kid. When the present is wrapped up in layer upon layer of bright wrapping paper and it is passed around the circle as the music plays. Remember your excited anticipation when the music stopped and the exuberance of tearing another layer of paper off. But damn it no matter how much you wanted to win, the music man had the final control. It was only he who could give you the ultimate pleasure of….. Orgasm whoops, I mean winning.
To find out more about Colin Richards, visit: www.intimacymatters.co.uk